Childhood Questions
As a small child, I remember hearing the “old folks” say “Just because you was born in a oven, don’t make you a biscuit”. I never quite knew what the elders meant by that statement……. until many years later. It was a strange statement.
Growing up in America, I assumed I was just like everyone else, just darker. Most of us spoke the same language and dressed somewhat alike. I noticed that black people and white people lived in different neighborhoods and went to different schools. I also noticed that their neighborhoods and schools were nicer than ours….but, I didn’t know why. I had no doubt, though, that I was an “American” because every morning at school I pledged “allegiance to the flag of the United States of America”.
The Turning Point at Age 12
When I was 12 years old I saw the mutilated face and body of Emmett Till on the cover of Jet magazine. I was told that “white folks” did that to him and I wondered why…if he was an American.
I also wondered why, if I’m an American, I had to fight with mobs of white kids just to go see a movie at the nearby theatre in the white neighborhood. I began to wonder about these things at 12 years old.
At 15 years old, I began to wonder why I wasn’t allowed to live, work, vote or shop in certain neighborhoods….if I’m an American. I asked myself why black people were being lynched in the south and black leaders were being assassinated with no accountability….if we’re Americans.
The Conclusion
By the time I reached 18 years old I came to the conclusion that I WAS NOT AN AMERICAN.
“Just cause you was born in a oven, don’t make you a biscuit”. Being born in America didn’t make me an American.
I rejected America’s labels of me as a negro, nigger, coon, darkie, criminal, etc. So, who or what was I?
The Search for Identity
So, I began the search for my true identity. This was a time before the internet, but what we had in Chicago was a network of black-owned book stores:
- MoJuba’s Books
- Pan-Afrikan Books
- Sankofa Book Store
My search began with “The Autobiography Of Malcolm X” by Alex Haley. From Brother Malcolm I gained a sense of my true identity and heritage as an AFRIKAN. I learned that the TRUE history of my ancestors did not begin with the transatlantic slave trade.
From there my research continued with black scholars like:
- Dr. J.A. Rogers
- Lerone Bennett
- Dr. John Henrik Clarke
- Dr. Cheikh Anta Diop
- Dr. Frances Cress Welsing
- Dr. Chancellor Williams
- Maulana Karenga
- Dr. Marimba Ani
- Frantz Fanon
- Amos Wilson
- Dr. Joy DeGruy
- Ra Un Nefer Amen
A Paradigm Shift
The development of my Afrikan identity and consciousness caused a paradigm shift in my life choices and value system. My rejection of mainstream organized religion and western culture for example. This caused some confusion within my family who didn’t quite understand my Afrikan cultural expressions such as wearing Afrikan garb and afro hair style.
Vietnam and the Military
In 1969 I was faced with the difficult choice of whether or not to participate in America’s illegal war in Viet Nam due to the draft (mandatory military service). I managed to sidestep direct participation in the genocide by enlisting in the Air Force in a non-combat role.
The one positive aspect of that four-year experience was:
- I had the chance to experience the deep solidarity among the majority of black men in the military during that era
- My military experience confirmed my belief in the inherently racist nature of American society and culture
The Family Crest Revelation
Fast forward to the 1990’s when I was researching my family ancestry. I wanted to create a “family crest”, so I chose an image that I found online of an Afrikan man and woman with a shield between them and a torch at the top of the shield.
Decades later, in preparation for retirement, I was researching various Afrikan countries as my potential retirement home. I had made the decision that I wanted to retire in the land of my ancestors. The issue was which of the fifty-four countries of the continent would best suit me.
When I reached the information on Tanzania I was surprised to find that the image I had chosen as my family crest was the national symbol of the United Republic of Tanzania.
This prompted me to do even more research on Tanzania.
Why Tanzania?
One of my primary prerequisites in my search for an Afrikan retirement home was that it be peaceful. The former (original) capital of Tanzania is Dar Es Salaam whose name translates to “House of Peace”.
My research also showed that:
- There were over 120 tribes in Tanzania
- There were both Christians and Muslims living there in large numbers
I then decided to visit the country to get a sense of how truly peaceful Tanzania was.
First Visit in 2020
My first visit to Tanzania was in 2020 and it confirmed all of my expectations. The Tanzanian people impressed me as being very friendly and forthright.
I made it a point to observe how they interacted with each other, especially the children.
“The beautiful sight of Tanzanian children Maasai, Chagga, Kikuyu, Makonde, Christian and Muslim playing gleefully together makes me smile and gives me a sense of hope.”
When Tanzanians greet one another you can tell they are truly glad to see each other. The sheer beauty of the landscape in Tanzania is matched by the beauty of its people.
Julius Nyerere’s Legacy
The history of Tanzania also played a role in my decision to relocate here. Tanzania’s founding father or “Baba wa Taifa”, Julius Nyerere, was, in my opinion, among the most intelligent, honest and courageous of all of the Afrikan leaders of the 20th century.
When I read about the role that Tanzania and “Mwalimu” Nyerere played in Afrika’s anti-colonial liberation struggle it makes me proud to be living here.
Home at Last
I visited Tanzania two more times before I relocated permanently. I have been here in Tanzania for over four years and I’ve never regretted my decision.
I lived in America for seventy years and never felt like I belonged. Now, I feel that I am at home and I am at peace.
Due to the citizenship policies here, I may never become a citizen, but I do feel that:
- I am a part of Tanzania
- Tanzania is a part of me
“I AM NOT AFRICAN BECAUSE I WAS BORN IN AFRICA, BUT BECAUSE AFRICA WAS BORN IN ME”
Kwame Nkrumah